The Decision to Live

The one thing that really breaks my heart is the suicide rate. I'm not exactly sure of the actual numbers and figures, but whatever it is, it's too high. It makes me so sad to see and hear about so many people taking their own lives. Simply because I've been there. There have been many times when I thought my life didn't matter and it wouldn't be a big deal if I just ended it all. Too many times, when life presented disappointments, when my plans didn't work out, when friendships failed; I'd think about just taking my life to end the pain. For along time I was ashamed that I ever went through this. I felt weak, stupid, like a failure. Now, I understand things better. The only reason I ever even gave voice to those suicidal feelings was simply because I was living for myself. Once I started living to please God, my life had a lot more meaning and value. It wasn't until last week that I realized that the decision to live solely for God was what made the decision. There's something about living to please God, living for God that just doesn't amount to living for anything or anyone else.